Friday, August 27, 2010

You Dont Understand But Thanks For Trying

I don't understand why you think you relate 
My life is not yours, we simply just share traits 

Everytime i hear you say "i understand" 
I cant help but think "what makes you think you can!?" 

For your life was of a simpler time 
Your biggest problems were taking cookies and felling guilty for lying 

Today things have changed and kids grow up to fast 
By age 14 girls is given and boys is lookin for the ass 

Yet you say you understand and you know my pain 
Well then tell me how to deal with seeing cousin Jehru, my same age, slain 

Tell me what to do when someones offers you a gun to get some revenge 
Tell me how to resist pulling that trigger and bringing life to an end 

Tell me what to do when the sex is there with no protection 
Tell me what to do when this time my vote counts in the election 

Tell me what to tell my friends when they ask if im an only child 
Tell me how i tell them my older Bro died dealin with drug problems gone wild 

So you say you understand but how can this be true 
By age 17 i've already been through more bullshit then you 

Dead cousin, dead Bro, and Dad behind bars 
So please don't tell me you understand cuz you never knew these scars 

Through all the anger from your words there is a silver linning 
One hug from you still haults the crying 

So i thank you mom..... 
Because at least your trying

Grandma

God needed one more angel to fill the empty space, 
he looked around the hospital and saw your sweet face. 
You went so peacefully, 
as if you knew the time was soon. 
So we knew it would be wrong for us to feel pain, 
but at the same time crying is just part of the game. 
We knew your skies weren't so blue, 
and the roads were getting too tough for you, 
but you fought that fight, 
and you did the best you could do. 
Even though you moved on to a better place, 
to this day i will never forget the smile that you held with such grace. 
So the day God came to get his next angel, 
will forever be bittersweet on my part. 
Grandma i love you and miss you, 
u are my heart...

The Little Things

They become routine, day after day 
The same old things in the same old way 

The after work phone call at the same time 
The same sorry ass "dont think I can make it" lines 

The random "i luv u" text in the middle of the night 
The same old arguments that turn into fights 

The look in her eyes when you know somethings wrong 
The same ass slow jam we said was our song 

The "good night, i luv u" before you go to sleep 
The same ass kiss and hug when we great and leave 

But its the routine that you depend on 
The routine that keeps you sain 
The routine that is the fuse to the bomb 
The routine that when it explodes it unleashes pain 

So when you get tired of the routine stop and think of the other side... 

The other side that has nor order 
The side that makes you lose you mind 

Having been in the situation I leave you with this thought... 
What would you rather have.. routine? or simply...not? 

The Little Things

They become routine, day after day 
The same old things in the same old way 

The after work phone call at the same time 
The same sorry ass "dont think I can make it" lines 

The random "i luv u" text in the middle of the night 
The same old arguments that turn into fights 

The look in her eyes when you know somethings wrong 
The same ass slow jam we said was our song 

The "good night, i luv u" before you go to sleep 
The same ass kiss and hug when we great and leave 

But its the routine that you depend on 
The routine that keeps you sain 
The routine that is the fuse to the bomb 
The routine that when it explodes it unleashes pain 

So when you get tired of the routine stop and think of the other side... 

The other side that has nor order 
The side that makes you lose you mind 

Having been in the situation I leave you with this thought... 
What would you rather have.. routine? or simply...not? 

Limitations

From the day your born the world puts limits on your life 

It is the color of your skin and blood in your veins that gives the world their view of you

Because of where you come from the world has already decided where your gona go 

They look at your parents lives and feel that you are nothing but them again 

I find it funny that the "majority" blames the "minority" for the problems we have 

They say minority is worthless and have no respect for each other 
Yet it was the majority that put hate and pain inside us 

It is them that took away our will and pride 
So thats why when they say I cant.. i just laugh... 

I am my will and pride 
I am not in pain and have no hate 

To act as they want us to is to give into their limitation 
To act as you choose is the exceed the limitations 

I will exceed..... 

Need A Lifeline

Layin out on the boat, floating along smooth. Everythings going great, nothing but a good mood. 

Looking out across the water, the clouds are getting thick. One thing leads to another and its almost time to jump ship. 

The waves start to rock, as the sky grows dark. Where did I go wrong, how did all this start? 

I can't avoid it, now im headed for the storm. I read the weather report but you can't predict gods scorn. 

Its like asking the question, why do bad things happen to good people? "To make the bad mourn their evil" says the man at the steeple. 

So as I wonder, the conditions get worse. Like Wezzy said "its like ride to I die and im driven my hearse." 

I stand at the wheel unable to steer. Not knowing whats gonna happen next, can't even decide if I still care… 

The one person I reach out to for help just pulled me in deeper. Tell me why love may be the reason for hook, line, and sinker. 

If I make it through the storm, rebuilding will take work, but anything then this has to be better. I just hope one day I can put my life back together.

His Given Oppertunity

If someone prays for patience’s, you think god gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? 

If someone prays for courage, does god give them courage? Or the opportunity to be courageous? 

If someone prays for their family to be close, does god give the family love? Or an opportunity to love each other? 

If someone prays for a second chance, do you think god lets them start over? Or does he give the opportunity of redemption? 

Life is an opportunity not a previously written book 

The moves you make each day depict his next move for us 

So pray for what you need and pray for what you want 

But don’t look for your pray itself… 

Just seize his given opportunity 

Beyond

Loving you makes my heart complete 
But having you love me is like my soul reaching up out into a unbefore seen galaxy 

To reach that galaxys peek would mean more then the world to me 
But until that time i'll just gaze at the stars and dream 

Not to say i wont persue the love up and beyond 
But its ultimatly up to you to let me venture on 

My first spaceship failed before the depth of my true love began 
Refuel my heart and i promise never to faulter again 

I was a fool gazing outside the ships view 
Then i realized that although i was staring at the world below... 
The world was staring back, envious of the love between me and you 

So i ask for forgivness and a fresh start 
Because even though loving you completes my heart... 
You loving me back will take my mind, soul, and heart beyond the stars 

c.wideman 

Dad

It happened so long ago but it still haunts me everyday. 

The day my mom said your Dad has gone away. 




Now let me make it clear my Dad didn't just up and leave. 

Oh no, I know him, love him, and I know he loves me. 




I would go visit my Dad on weekends and days off of school. 

As far as I knew everything was cool. 




I thought your dad living with white men in blue and black men in orange was normal. 

I thought having a dad at home would be something horrible. 




To me I had it lucky with him in there. 

Because at home there wasn't a disciplinary to fear. 




Then one day my raise pulled me away from watching the Little Rascals. 

Mom said "son we have something to tell you" and Dad said "Syl let me have em this is gonna be a hard pill to swallow" 




Dad sat me on knee and everyone got real quiet. 

Then he asked me if I knew why the lady across the room was cryin 




I shook my head and said "no" even though I didn't really care. 

Dad said "my boy do you know this place and why your Pops is in here?" 




I was confused at first so without thinking I gave my answer 

"You're here because it's a home for daddys, why does it matter?" 




Mom laughed a sad chuckle when she realized this was going to be a hassle. 

Dad looked at me and said "No son im hear because I got in trouble." 




Dad said "the lady is crying because her son is here for life" 

I tried to change the subject and said "for Christmas, can I get a bike!" 




For the next couple of hours Dad broke down the situation. 

To this day my Dad is dealing with incarceration. 



So for 17 years I have lived with this burden 

But don't be sad for me because I got good news from the Dad back a few mornins 




If all goes at as planned 

Dads new trial will get rolling 




And if by some great God blessing 

Dad will be home in time for Graduation!! 



18 now but yet im still waiting 

New trial didnt go as planned, so freedom my dad is still chasing 



Older now and looking at the situation, I see that his fate is not for me to wait, 

But to take over and learn from his mistakes 



As I ready myself for college I cant help but to think, 

In this new journy I have to do it for more then just me 



This time I have to take a few people for the ride 

Big bro Omar and my Dad will live on as long im alive 


c.wideman